There are quite a few Jesus as zombie cartoons on the net and I thought I’d add another one. This one has had quite a good reaction so far (it has already featured on my Facebook account), but I get the feeling that my mum & dad aren’t going to like it too much.
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This is my favourite so far. Not many cartoons get a laugh out of the old holy body biscuit.
I love it – I have already posted it on a message board to share it around even more
http://www.robotsforrobots.net/viewtopic.php?id=19&p=23
First positive feedback – a “haha” from some guy in rotterdam
First positive feedback – a “haha” from some guy in rotterdam
Noel! It’s 6:44 am. The kids have kept me up half the night. This is hilarious!!! Still laughing. Truly awesome.
You made a mistake. The entry on the last row, under Jesus, should have an “X”, not a check mark.
Ewww! Christian!
No, seriously, man, jesus did exist, it’s just that he wasn’t a..*cough*
“Messiah”, or, “Superman 1: Now with robes and halo and ability to heal by saying ‘Touch my robe, it’s polyester will heal you.’ an all that crap Edition”
I mean, Let’s summerize Religion (Particularly Christianity):
The belief that some Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil source from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Yeah, that makes sense…
ok first of all christians accept that the bible is not word for word what happened in history, ie people like Noah living for 500 years, so the story of adam and eve is just a way of telling how the world began. and secondly what religion do you follow if you dont even believe in sin?
no, it should have a check mark on the last row for Jesus, as he doesn’t really exist (in the opinion of the cartoonist…and myself). Jesus as the son of god is a purely mythical character.
See.. the last line ruins it. The joke was funny, even to Christians, because the joke was “Jesus is like a zombie haha” but then the last line just says “Oh and by the way Christians are morons.”
Yeah. Thanks for that.
I do think Christians (and all theists) are mistaken, but I don’t think that they’re morons.
This comic would have been funny if it wasn’t for you satanists.
well i think its better the way it is since the majority of people arent christians so this makes it funnier to a wider group of people. its doesnt hav to please u christians did u know? Saying he was real would be like believing in peter pan
Actually, Meg, 3/4 of American adults identify themselves as Christians. And good God you’re dumb!! EVERY race has an account of a great flood that covered the whole Earth! It’s a historical fact!!!!
Anon, thanks for having a brain in your head.
Nornerator, you cannot be sure that Christ didn’t do those things. And MANY highly educated people have set out with a purpose to disprove the Bible and ended up becoming Christians. Read the book. You don’t know crap. Even if it isn’t accurate (which it is) it is still full of very important moral life lessons and values that are the foundation of society, and good and evil. Seriously, why don’t you try reading it before voicing your opinion on something you really don’t know anything about. (Talk about the blind leading the blind….)
JohnyLearnaLittle- Thank the Lord for giving you a brain!!!! Btw, have you noticed that it’s only Christianity that Athiests are offended by? Begin a chat about Buddah or Hinduism and athiests have no qualms, but mention Christ and the claws come out.
Really?- Kudos for challenging yourself to broaden your mind and look at an issue from many sides, not just one biased one!
Clegg-God prefers fruits of the spirit, not religious nuts. Quit Bible thumping, buddy. That’s what makes people hate us. I have known plenty of rotten “Christians”.
_pointed- You obviously haven’t read the Bible. No where in it does it teach to hate gays. What it says is that sodomy is unholy. It also teaches to Love the sinner and hate the sin. Christ ate with prostitutes, tax collectors, and other sinners. The Bible’s main message is Love, Mercy (not giving someone what they really deserve [like a brutal beating, or in humanity's case, death]) and Grace (giving someone what they don’t deserve [like forgiveness]).
Dicky- You aren’t a Christian. Saying you are is lying to yourself. Being a Christian means following Christ; the Christ of the Bible. No matter how many times you say you are a Christian, you aren’t. That’s like me saying “I’m Irish. I don’t live in Ireland, but I kinda support them and I don’t like their food, but i don’t dislike it either so, I’m Irish. No. Go read your Bible. And get off your high horse mister “I don’t rub it in peoples’ faces”. You have nothing to rub in their faces. You don’t even agree with Christianity let alone belong to the religion.
Oblio- Where did you get these “facts”? Can I see some documented evidence? Or did you just get them from another debate thread and steal them from someone pulling figures out of their ass?
N.E.O.X.- Christianity is a relationship, not a religion. And faith is “Being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see”.
I am a Christian. I believe the Bible, every word of it. Just not literally. Try reading it before you bash it. And no, flipping through it or reading books about it or hearing about it from someone doesn’t count. GO read the ACTUAL Bible. You might learn something. And if you don’t, then you have a stronger weapon. This comic was funny. Although I do think the “didn’t exist” part is sad. (I saw a guy walking thought the fog on the side of the road with ether and bleach hung around his neck while he was dragging a chainsaw. Yeah. Zombies are real.)
If you really want to know more or discuss this and I mean DISCUSS, not just argue, drop me a line. I’d be happy to have a conversation with anyone wanting to know a different side than their own. Knowledge is power.
Hey, like i said about religion…..
The belief that some Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil source from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Yeah, that makes sense…
Elly; PROTIP: The majority of people aren’t American adults either.
LOL
Amen Elly!!!
the comic is funny.
ok, if there is an opportunity for atheist or christian to bash on eachother in a string, it will happen. people get over it!!
there are too many nieve people to get as worked up as yall do. and half the time people are just saying shit to cause drama and dont actually mean what they are writing.
elly, and everyone else= relax its the internet.
Yeah, Jesus is TOTALLY a zombie. AND he doesn’t exist. But you know who ISN’T a zombie and DOES exist? The Flying Spaghetti Monster, that’s who!!!
HELL YES.
i showed this to some very religious people and they just about pissed themselves
being an atheist is great
how, as an atheist, do you explain the creation of the universe surely you cant believe that the universe just exploded into existence without the intervention of a higher power like the big bang theory suggests?
The last line is what made it good. lighten up people
yeah haha, This is hilarious.
Christians should just lighten up. It’s just a joke. And if you think about it, you have to be on some pretty good shrooms in order to believe that christ is real.
you made a mistake on the last line… theres a checkmark saying that zombies dont exist, should be an x
Really? Shit. Meet you at the mall.
which one of us is gonna pick up ving rhames?
It won’t mean a thing, if we don’t have that Ving.
Just another way for atheists to prove that this stuff dont exist
Thanks for the handy guide.
atheists don’t argue that jesus didn’t exist they argue that he is not the son of god and does not deserve a following the check list should have x’s on the second 2 and checks on all the others this pic is full of logic fail
agreed. if he doesnt exist then he didnt die and he didnt come back to life. since,as you say, he is nonexistent.
yeah, jesus definitely existed.
i’m not saying that he was or was not who christians claim he was, but i don’t think there’s ever been any serious debate as to whether or not he was a real person.
sometimes, pretentious athiests are just as uneducated as their religious counterparts.
Uh he did not exist.
There is yet to be ANY ancient historian who has EVER mentioned him at all.
Now STFU, and enjoy the joke.
jesus did exist. but this was funny
actually Jesus is mentioned as a real historical figure who can be proven to exist. trace the lineage of popes all the back to peter and the apostles and theres your simplest proof
you mean the nazi pope that’s sitting now is decended from the originator of this nonsense?
god is a nazi?
photoshopped!
I pity your atheistic ignorance. You’ll never know the power and freedom in being a believer.
Jesus( I use his name for Emotional Feedback )
Why is there so many Religions out there?-Because no one knows the actual truth.
In part of your religion, you will never know, if you are actually wrong, or right.
Many people believe they are right.
But me, everyone is f**king wrong.
‘F**kin Wrong.
“freedom”? Ahahahaha, since when did following a bunch of someone else’s rules constitute freedom?
Great cartoon DJ!
LOL I do wish people would Google “Horus vs Jesus” and read a little. The story of Jesus was just a re-branding of the story of Horus the Sun God, who was worshiped a thousand years before Christ.
And Horus was just a retelling of the story of the Persian god Mithra.
Learn a little history folks.
Or just plug your ears and live in ignorance.
A Christian would believe that early ideas about God, before Christ was on Earth, reflect that God’s existence was evident before “the truth” was told by Jesus. Belief in God in general more reflects a fundamental difference in thinking, that our lives have meaning, and that there are objective good and evil. Just another atheist prick fighting ignorance with ignorance
You are all idiots for arguing about whether or not a person from 2000 years ago existed or not, Its a friggen joke, get over it.
There is proof that Jesus was a real person – what’s lacking, for obvious reasons, is proof that he’s the son of God. Whether you want to believe that or not believe is your choice. Also, I agree that people get too bent out of shape from cartoons on the internet (and I’m a Christian). Furthermore, atheists can believe what they want to believe, but insulting people for their views on the existence of a higher being is ignorant and uncalled for.
HOW DARE YOU, I take personal offense to this, why is it okay for you to sullen my beliefs by comparing them to such childish monsters.
Zombies are very very real.
Just to bring something new to the whole “Did jesus exist or not” We must first identify what claim is being made. The claim is made by Christians and others that Jesus existed.
What evidence do we have that Jesus actually existed?
Personally my argument is that whether or not a person named jesus actually existed is entirely irrelevant. What is important is that we know for a fact that the attributes given to this character are mythical and completely untrue. There may or may not have been a person named jesus living at some point in time, but what we can be sure of is that he didn’t raise the dead or perform any other supernatural miracles. In this sense the jesus that christians refer to never existed and thats as far as the argument needs to go.
Personally given the piss poor accuracy of the bible and the fact that there weren’t writings about jesus by any of his contemporaries suggests that it was all made up.
I know Jesus exists. He mows our lawn in the summer.
Oh wow. Win.
Totally FTW
Many syllabled words, a paragraph and a bit of diction don’t make you educated either. The bible is one of the the best accounts of history in to this day. An intelligent atheist would argue that, and that Jesus existed and was a phenomenal human being that motivated with good will. To each his own as far worship goes, but release yourself from placing bias on Christians in excess. You merely sound a like one of those angry goth kids. To an intelligent person, trashing a religion makes you look real insecure, just for future refere.nce.
id rather belive “mein campf” than the bible. atleast its set in real life, unlike fairytales such as “noah’s ark” or the creation story
look im a catholic and i hav strong beliefs but i hav no problem withthis comic the drawer(i dont no de proper word) is entieled 2 his belief but im entitled 2 mine and u people hav no rite 2 ridicule christians 4 der beliefs
Stupid non-believers, zombies exist. Period. Ther’es no denying it.
Oh, and who’s this Jesus fellow? Is he a zombie too? Then he exists.
Hahaha, that could not have been a better ending.
When religious folk polute your mailbox with their flyers or invade your personal freedom by trying to convince you of their right they have no problem with it at all.
When a cartoon appears affirming the beliefs of atheist, though, you’ll always see religious folks popping up from everywhere expressing how insulted they are.
Time to watch YouTube : BS5vid4GkEY
Please don’t make the mistake in believing all Christians are Creationists. There are many Christians who believe in Intelligent Design or Theistic Evolution. Besides, lumping all Christians into sounding like that guy from your video Googol is absolutely insulting. Yeah, there are plenty of misinformed people, but that doesn’t make up the entire population, and making it sound like we all come up with things like that without thinking or doing any research on a topic is very deceptive and wrong.
Isn’t their a lot of evidence for jesus actually existing.? Pretty sure he wasnt the sun of god though lol
I dont believe he was a god but if he didn’t exist then who am I named after?
Do some research before you atheists go around claiming that “Jesus didn’t exist”. This joke was funny yes, until the last extremely uneducated line.
That line was especially funny. Considering it was correct.
Jesus, you’re all morons.
Just to clear up any confusion, I do exist and have made a note of all the non-believers commenting here. When my dad finds out about this you’re really gonna be in trouble.
Jesus, i have something t tell you, you were adopted. We are actually the children of a drunk barman in Sicily, not god
You’ve just gone to the top of the shit list buddy!
The truth is that none of you have any proof either way. The only thing we know is that several religions have claims about a man doing incredible things around the same time period.
by the way, love the comic. its amazing (And true)
I’m not sure if commenting after a cartoon is the best way to debate this issue…. but while we are at it: Christian or otherwise, we all die after about 80 years, and nobody knows what happens after that. If you think how you live effects what happens then take a close look at atheism and see if it conflicts what that you believe. If you do not, try and read into the scientific arguements for Christianity somewhere other than an atheist source.
sorry about typos = (
This really does show what people without religion act like: disrespectful, rude, and insensitive. How foolish of us with religion to mistake that human beings were made for a reason. Darn, we sure are stupid to think of people having a purpose in life, you atheists really showed us! Not to mention the factual error: Jesus did exist, whether his divinity did or not.
So you’re saying people with religion aren’t disrespectful, rude, and insensitive?
What reality are you in? Ever heard of 9/11? Abortion clinic bombings? Northern Ireland? African witch hunters? All of these are directly linked to people with religion.
We aren’t telling you to not have a purpose in life. We have purpose in knowing this is our only life and we must make it worth while.
And while a person may have existed named Jesus, the accounts of his perceived supernatural abilities are hardly trustworthy considering the knowledge people at at the time. The earth was still the center of a universe. That and every inexplicable thing was attributed to YHVH.
Your beliefs and faith are fine when they are personal. But when you and your kind are intruding on the social contract that MEN have made among themselves, you are not going to get any respect. Christianity teaches to hate gays. It teaches misogyny. It teaches to obey authority reflexively.
If you reject parts of the bible, then you admit its fallibility. And when you concede fallibility the certainty with which you believe is unbelievably arrogant. So given that the only evidence for Christianity’s validity is either A) Hateful or B) Fallible and it actively pursues changing the LAW in ways that impact people who have no respect for the book that gives you the reason to believe what you do, we ARE GOING TO BE DISRESPECTFUL AND RUDE BECAUSE YOU ARE AFFECTING PEOPLE’S LIVES FOR YOUR FICTION.
That is why we’re mad. We clear?
This man wins.
Christianity does not teach to hate gays. MOST of the Christians that I know are completely for gay rights in every way. Maybe that’s just because I’m from MA, but who knows.
As a Christian, I think that anybody who “believes” in the bible is an idiot. Obviously there was no stupid flood or earth being created in 7 days, and all that other stuff. (By the way, the Pope has publicly said that the Catholic Church finds the theory of evolution to be correct.) If you believe in God or fate, then you must believe he works in mysterious ways. I think the fact that throughout all of life being formed and evolution taking it’s course, it makes it even more miraculous that we are actually here.
And I don’t believe that Jesus being the son of god or even existing matters at all for Christianity. Pretty much, there is a concept of him, and according to the stories, he had a pretty good idea about how you should treat your fellow man. So if I’m going to choose to walk in someone’s footsteps, even a fictional person, he’s a pretty good choice.
I also believe in fate moreso than an actual “god.” I think things happen for a reason and nobody else has had more of an impact on the world and on people’s lives than Jesus (whether good or bad, i like to think more good). Therefore, I believe that whether he existed or not, he was meant to have that effect on humanity. It was supposed to happen, and it happened for a reason. And many charities have opened up in his name and a lot of good has come from his story.
Even though stupid Christian idiots that give it all a bad name like to say and do retarded shit and ruin it for everyone else.
Don’t get me wrong tho, I do disagree with Christianity on a lot of stuff. I just wish people could go about it intelligently like I do, and not rub it in everyone’s face. Separation of church and state man.
And to say that only people who believe in God are against abortion is ridiculous. People who believe that abortion is killing babies are against abortion. And there should be little correlation.
the entire concept of this comic is older than the internet.
LOL its been featured on your facebook??? wow, you’re obviously the man!
btw, anyone, atheist or theist, who is having a religious debate via blog thread needs to shut their computer down and go into a place I like to call the real world…preferably to get laid.
masterson, thank you
The first authorship of one of the four gospels does not come chronologically until 70AD — the book of Mark, and even that date is debated. This would have been long after any witnesses to Jesus’ resurrection had already died.
The first time Jesus (any Jesus) is mentioned outside of the Gospels is by the Jewish scholar Josephus, though some scholars debate even this recording’s authenticity. This account was not written until nearly 100AD.
The historicity of Jesus IS in doubt since the only documents produced (gospels written long after his supposed death; first recordings almost a century after the fact) were developed solely from hearsay.
In a court of law, people claiming Jesus was a real person would lose.
you are going to hell.
lol that
Not to offend any of u believers here but I have to say that taking jokes like this is in fact being not intelligent.
P.S.
1.Putting something or anything on a will of god IS uneducated
2.Religion as an institution is made up not to help people but to separate them from each other and control them.
3.Amount of superstition (read faith) is directly proportional to the amount of information person posseses.
Hence religion in the process of evolution of human mind will die out eventually
I am only trying to be factual and if u say i go to hell, i dont really care because i dont believe in it
ALL OF YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT! ZOMBIES DO EXIST!!!!!!
I know that the human being is weak
And needs explanations to tranquilize ‘em
I don’t believe the most beautiful story I’ve ever heard
Don’t accuse me of being a materialist person
Just because I assume I don’t have a religion
Through my short life experience I have concluded
That religious people are selfish and blind
But why? Just pure coincidence?
No! I don’t agree with that!
I’m my only god, I do good and evil
I forgive and punish myself
If you believe in any god, no matter his form
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not criticizing anyone
I know that a god simplifies your life
But the truth is that life is more complicated
Don’t say I don’t have faith!
How could I live without it?
I have faith in me, I have faith in you!
That’s the way I feel!
There are so many religions, there are so many gods!
There are many attempts to explain the norms!
My lunesta is settling in and I can’t believe I just wasted 15 minutes reading all this horse shit. This whole thing shows a fallacy in the human race…and an opprotunity to attack at whomever. Though everyone has different beliefs it legit to tear someone a new asshole as long as they don’t mess with yours cause you will just cycle the rage back. That’s why we, as humans, are inherently flawed. Get a f**king life. Yea shit like this is important to think about…but I am pretty sure everyone in here has better shit to do than to masturbate their thoughts all over these pages…in regards to a joke. Yea it was supposed to spark thought, but shit…if anyone has all the answers, please let me know. I can’t see my heart beating…but I am told it is. But i can’t see that…interesting. In case you didn’t get that…faith is a very legitimate thing. So yea continue tearing each other apart, but ignorance breeds contempt and the sick cycle continues. I am sure I have contradicted myself and there are holes in what I have said, but I wll probably never check this site again. The joke was funny. I lughed my balls off. I mean really it’s easy for people to believe we came from some “thing” that shit in space and we morphed..i mean evolved…into all this bull shit…rather than there was a good dude on earth that did good things for people that brought about a different train of thought. You don’t have to follow it…and clearly you don’t like it…then why the hell do you waste your time tearing other people. Sure your opinions are important to you, but pull your head out of your ass.
There are better things to be worrying about or arguing about. Like who is playing college basketball this weekend, what beer will I try next, will I get up after this and take a piss?, what is the purpose of life? You know all that easy shit. Definition of insanity is doing or talking about the same shit over and over again and expecting different results. Hence…we are fucking insane. Cause people babble about this horse shit all the time…and it goes round and round and round and no one gets anywhere. If you decide to have an open mind instead of dangling your ideals over everyone elses head…you might learn something. Everyone get off the f**king horse your rode in on…and piss on your neighbors pet or bush. Do it. It will make you happy…and you might find out the meaning of life. This whole message was approved by Lunesta.
“Truth cannot be tied to humanity. If so
Our damnation is a welcome relief
From this meaningless existence”
“Disbelief is the cyanide of the human race!”
“Like a crowbar to the face
Our words will reap their harvest”
O and it seems fairly clear to me on here no one has every been to a third-world country. Go down to Haiti some day and then come back with a perspective on religion. Stupid f**kin ignorant Americans. We are so brilliant and know so many answers. What happens if you sold everything you had moved to the mountains and just ruminated in your thoughts. Simplify don’t stupify. I agree with the dude that said get off this…mainly because those who sit on this shit all day need to get out…probably to get more education, facts, or some other shit they can throw at someone through their meaningless words on blogs…which have increased ignorance and stupidity exponentially. I know I am following my own criticism as I write…in quite a few areas. But you know what?!? I don’t really give a shit cause I have a 3 concerts to play this weekend. O and they are heavy metal oooooooooo shit. Watch out…let’s turn this into a musical discussion!!! Then I would find something worthwhile. Gosh I am an arrogant bastard. But that’s ok. Someone has to be an asshole.
I love you all in a sexual way…it’s just that I am on the computer…o wait. Eharmony. I heard shit has the answer about who I should marry. I gotta run! Make a comic about that. It would be funny. So while you are checking your different assorted bullshit accounts, blogs, emails, dating services, IQ tests, or just simply beating it after a long days work. I am gonna do something more productive and sleep. yeaaaaaaa
“Can’t we all just get a long?” Rodney King
It is proven that Jesus was a real person
If you’re going to bash Christianity claim that he didn’t come back to life
Jesus existed
It’s waht happened in his life that’s disputed
This deeply saddens me. What is the point of this christian bashing? I see this petty and childish behavior all over the place these days! A true christian would never bash an atheist. Misguided ones may, but they are mistaken, as it is imperative that we love one another as we would ourselves. That is the core of Christianity, and I cannot argue the logic behind that. So really, answer me this: in the grand scheme of things, what is the point of your attack on a deeply rooted part of someone’s being? What caused you to lose your faith?
Really, I think the main reason we are attacked is because we are easy targets. It is hard to believe. It is a hard concept to wrap your brain around. But this attack on Modern Christianity has all the makings of high school bullying, and the anonymity of the internet has only made that easier. In reality, you should all be ashamed.
Furthermore, what harm is caused by belief? Voltaire once said, “Religion is a safe bet.” Think about it. If you are a christian, and you are right, you receive eternal life, and eternal happiness. If you are wrong, you rot in the ground forever. If you are not a christian and you are right, you rot in the ground forever. If you are wrong, you go to a place where you live in a state of eternal misery. Its such an easy choice for me to take. I mean, its not really a good place to base your reason for belief, but it still makes sense!
Jesus lived. He died. And he was resurrected, not only to a single person, but to many, in many places. I believe this with my whole heart, and it is something I will take to my grave.
To think, that 15 years ago, this country was deeply christian, and now, it is falling away at an ever growing rate! What happened?
——————————————————————————————————————————-
Shadow am I!
Like suspicion that’s never confirmed
But it’s never denied
Wolf am I,
no, “shadow” – I think – is better
as I’m not something as the absence of something
So SHADOW AM I!
the material world seems to me like a newspaper headline-
it explicitly demands your attention
and it may even contain some truth
and what’s really going on here?
one day the water’s gonna wash it away
and on that day, nothing clever to say.
There needs to be a X on the right side.